6 Months Without Tampons! Thanks Thinx!

So this post is TMI, fair warning, I’ll be discussing my vagina…

It’s no secret that tampons are full of chemicals, first of all, the cotton is bleached… I don’t know about you, but the idea of putting something inside me that has been soaked in bleach just doesn’t seem right. I don’t even use bleach in my laundry… WHY would I use it in my giney? Feel free to do your own research, tampons have cancer causing ingredients… It may not be that big of a deal if we had limited contact with these chemicals, but we spend a week with poison inside of us. A week of chemicals being absorbed into our bodies. The more I read about tampons and pads, the more I second guessed using them. But then what? I know pads are filled with the same chemicals, but at least they are not inside of me… but, you guys… I don’t like pads. I hate the smell, I hate that they have diaper-like material. And I hate that awkward bulkiness. I liked tampons because they didn’t cramp my style, with pads I felt like I had to wear long tops that cover my butt because I feel like it’s just so obvious that I’m wearing a mom diaper. So pads were out of the question for me. I stuck with tampons another year, I think because I just couldn’t think of a reasonable alternative.

Until I saw an add for Thinx. My first two thoughts were: “FINALLY!” and then, “Wait, do they work???” It was this moment that I was 100% honest with myself (I often lie to myself so I won’t feel so bad about things… like, Wednesdays drive me nuts because my kids get out of school early… I love my kids, I just really wouldn’t mind if they were out early on Friday instead… Or cheap champagne. I realistically can’t be spending $15 on champagne if I want it daily, and I do… so I tell myself I like cheap champagne. Also wearing heels. As sexy as they are… I kinda hate them. But shhh, don’t tell me that. If I don’t admit these things I don’t have to change them.) I HATE tampons. I hate that awful dry feeling when you try to remove it and it’s not filled with enough blood to gently slide out, instead it sticks to your insides and feels like your ripping a bandaid out of your vagg. Or how about when you don’t insert it correctly and you sit down! Pain! Oh and the damn string. That moment when you get out of the pool and feel that light wet slap against your inner thigh… that fucking string that creeped out while you were bravely swimming on your period. I hate that they’re kinda leaky, and you need a panty liner. Panty liners are not cute. In fact, when me and my husband are about to get it on (yes we like period sex, you should too! It’s the best!) and I have to run to the restroom (#MoodKiller) to remove my tampon, and hide my panties so he doesn’t have to see the paper thin diaper stuck to them… You know what I’m talking about. Tampons are awful. So I thought, what the hell, let’s try these magical panties.

In December (2015) I ordered my first few Thinx period panties and it was the best decision I have made in a while. I have 3 hip huggers, 3 cheekies, and 2 thongs. I ordered a size up because I read an article that suggested this. (the thongs are fine in your regular size, mine are too big, but I wear them anyway.) I would say the material is closer to bathing suit than panties, but it’s not uncomfortable at all. In fact, I like my Thinx! I love that I no longer have to deal with tampons and panty liners. My husband and I both LOVE that on period nights I can come to bed wearing my cute undies, instead of always covering up down there “just in case”. We love that we can have in the moment period sex. I love that I feel attractive during shark week. (Seriously, they’re cute! Husband approves!)

I’ll be honest, it was a little odd to free flow. I had a mild panic attack the first few days when I felt that… leak… Luckily for me, it leaked into my amazing magical panties and stayed there! It was also a little odd to feel the cold when I pulled up my panties, but that was so slight and insignificant. I feel I have gotten to know my body more, as odd as it is to actually see the lining of my uterus in strips in the toilet, it kind of validates the whole awful process. Ladies, our insides are ripping themselves apart. It’s painful and gross… but it’s real. And unfortunately necessary. (Woohoo! Not pregnant!)

Rinsing them out is easy-peasy. I rinse mine at night with some Castile soap and they are dry by morning. So on heavy days I use 3 Thinx panties, a fresh pair to begin the day, I swap them out midday and again before bed. The one day I tried to make the morning pair last until evening, I bent down and had an awkward leak up the front. Lesson learned. That’s only 2 days for me. The last few days I use one in the morning and one at night. Thongs are for my “maybe it’s coming today” days, or the last day of bleeding.

I have tried the diva cup, it didn’t work out… I use Thinx with no back up. It’s been 6 months now. I’m going strong. I’ve saved money, I have not had to chuck panties because of accidents, or buy tampons and panty liners.

So far 3 of my good friends have switched from tampons to Thinx. I am excited to be a part of the movement!

Thank you to the amazing ladies who created Thinx…. whoever you are!

**This is my personal OPINION of Thinx period panties***

Just Eat

It’s Eating disorder Awareness Week… I know it doesn’t seem like a big deal to most people. “Just eat”… “I wish I had THAT problem” … Two of the most frustrating, rude, cavalier and insensitive phrases I hear whenever ED’s come up. Eating disorders are serious. Serious like addiction. And it’s not because “we” are selfish, vain or conceited. It’s because we have no self love, self worth and no grace. It’s because we feel out of control in life and take it out on our bodies. Because we feel guilt when we take care of ourselves. Eating disorders are not a joke.

(I rewrote the paragraph above a few times changing the “we” to “they” and the “our” to “their” because I’m struggling with whether or not I want to own my own struggles right now. #VigorousHonesty)

Eating disorders come in many forms, restricting, binging, purging, over exercising… these are the symptoms, the whiskey to the alcoholic, the meth to the addict, the abuser to the abused. If you’ve ever known or loved someone who struggled with addiction, you’ve probably thought, “Why can’t they see what their doing to themselves?”

“Why don’t they just stop?”

“Why doesn’t she leave him?”

“She doesn’t love me enough to quit.”

That’s pretty much the same thoughts you might have when you are close to someone with an eating disorder. It’s frustrating. Maybe a little more frustrating because it’s harder to understand. Harder to relate to. I grew up in a home where addiction was talked about often. My dad is over 30 years sober and has worked in treatment for my entire life. My sister has been in rehab a few times, my mom, too. Addiction, recovery, 12 Steps, meetings, amends…. This is all the norm to me. Addiction, we can handle. We have the tools. But about 12 years ago when I was diagnosed as “Anorexic with purging”, none of us had any idea how to deal. My dad was very proactive, he got me help immediately. A therapist, treatment… What I didn’t have was anyone in my life who understood. In a world where everyone was on the Atkin’s Diet, I didn’t fit in. It was really lonely. For me, going to a 12-Step meeting was not useful. I didn’t use. Not like them. For me, not eating served the same purpose, however, I was not offered the same grace. People rolled their eyes, because their addiction was “worse”. Because “all” I had to do was “just eat”. (I am rolling my eyes as I type this!)

I have forgiven everyone who’s ever belittled my disease because I understand that you DON’T understand. I would like to give a little insight though. So maybe you can have more grace with someone who is walking a road you’ve never walked.

I have a friend, a good friend who also has an eating disorder, and she is the only person besides my therapist who “gets it”. The irony is that she over eats and I under eat. (I’m actually in recovery… see here is where it’s hard to compare addiction and ED’s because when an alcoholic drinks, they’re no longer sober. If I have a bad eating day, I’m not off the wagon necessarily. It’s not THAT simple. Hence ED awareness week.) However, if you sit us both down and talk with us, or, hear us talk with each other, it’s the same words, it’s the same feelings. We just have literally opposite reactions. When I am sad, I lose 15 pounds. When she is sad, she gains 15 pounds. I’m not saying like I feel sad today and magically 15 pounds evaporate. I mean like, when I am going through depression, stress, anxiety, etc. I can’t eat. Like physically, I cannot swallow food. I will chew for ages and just can’t swallow. And I and not necessarily even upset about my body during these times. In fact, if I’m in that place, I am not even thinking about my body. I am too absorbed in my misery. Yes throughout my life I have acted out my ED because I have had a “fat” day (a word I avoid). I have also noticed that my “fat days” directly correlate to my emotions. The scale has not changed, but for some reason today I fucking HATE my body. Nothing looks right, nothing feels right. I want to rip off my skin. I literally want to take scissors to my thighs. I want to vacuum the fat from my belly. These are the images I get when I look in the mirror on a “fat day.” Meanwhile my brain is saying, “You’re worthless, you’re weak, you’re not lovable, nobody takes you seriously, you deserve to feel lonely, nobody needs you. You’re too outspoken, you’re too opinionated. You’re not smart enough or pretty enough. You’re just not enough. Oh- except your thighs, those are too much. Jeez, Justine, what’s wrong with you? You’re a shitty anorexic. You ate WAY too much yesterday and LOOK at your ass! You can’t even eat right. You’re so stupid. You need to control yourself. You are an embarrassment.” You see how it’s not actually about my body? My body is the scapegoat. Internally I feel like I can’t fix my uselessness, and all the things wrong with who I am, but, I CAN fix my thighs. So here I am desperately hating myself, and truly needing someone to love me, someone to affirm me. Not my body. ME. and I don’t know how to ask for that. And I sure as hell don’t believe I deserve it. So I am sad. So I can’t eat. And not eating serves a purpose. Not eating ,makes me feel successful subconsciously. Eating literally makes me nauseous, so NOT eating makes me feel better.

Meanwhile my friend who over eats has the SAME thoughts, only her coping skill is to make herself feel better by eating. Because when she is eating it FEELS GOOD. It smells good, and looks good and fills her. It literally fills the emptiness. So she will eat fast food, and thus PROVE to herself, all the things her brain has been chanting. That she isn’t strong enough to lose the weight, that she is worthless, that she’s fat. That she doesn’t “deserve” to be healthy, because if she did deserve it, she could eat like a “normal” person. She “proves” her worthlessness to herself every time she gets on a scale and hasn’t lost any weight. Every time her doctor is disappointed. Every time her nutritionist overwhelms her with lists of food she “can’t” have. It’s overwhelming. And what’s the point anyway, right? She feels like a failure. Maybe she is? Oh, is that a Mc Donald’s? French fries will help. And she’ll try again tomorrow.

I don’t know if my sharing this is helpful. I just thought, in the spirit of the week, maybe I can shine some light on a subject that you just can’t grasp at face value.

I want you all to know that I have been working my recovery, seeing my therapist, and learning to love myself. To change the way I talk to myself. To recognize the red flags and seek help when I start going down the rabbit hole. My recovery really doesn’t have a whole lot to do with food. Food is just the way I show the sickness. As a mom I have been good at maintaining a healthy weight… but masking the real issue. I am in a place where I want recovery, and I understand that just because I am not acting out my ED, does not mean I am cured. I understand that every single day I need to work to make the right choices. Because, magically, when I am doing what is right and healthy for me, I don’t hate myself so much. In fact, I start seeing the good. I have recognized that my decisions directly effect my self worth. And I am worth being happy. I am worth love. I am lovable. And so are you.

Fighting Food Demons

I read this article today on “orthorexia nervosa”. Haven’t heard of it? Neither had I, although I had a sneaking suspicion it was a thing. It’s having an unhealthy (go figure) obsession with eating clean. Generally when someone gets on a health kick, they are trying to be healthy. Evidently the issue here is that this drive towards ultimate health can actually make you UNHEALTHY. Well, that sucks. Particularly if you’re me. Having struggled with eating disorders for many years, resulting in rehab, then outpatient, groups and lots of therapy, I finally found peace with food. However, my “peace” with food has become increasingly “unpeacful”. When I built a healthy relationship with food, I decided I needed to have a better understanding of food. What is it? Where does it come from? What’s in it? What does “processed” mean? How does my body react to certain foods? Answering these questions helped me to not dwell on the calories, however I have noticed that I still feel just as guilty (and judgmental even) when I eat certain foods. And it’s not like a regular person who would not even consider that they have a relationship with food, (because you normies just EAT food.) and maybe feels some guilt when they go to a drive through, or eat ice cream. I feel guilty when I eat a sandwich. I feel self loathing when I eat bread. I hate myself when I eat cheese. And it’s not just that I do have a fear of gaining weight, but in my head I am thinking that I am causing inflammation which will undoubtedly lead to every health problem imaginable. And it will be because I ate a slice of pizza. I will die a miserable death because I had mozzarella sticks. You may be thinking that I am insane… But you may be like me and you maybe literally won’t EVER touch demonic foods that contain gluten, dairy or GMOs. (And I am over here feeling sickeningly jealous of your strength…. *You see, I wouldn’t ever buy these satanic tempestuous treats, but my husband literally won’t live without them. He thinks that no meal is a meal without carbs, in fact he thinks it’s ridiculous when me and my daughter don’t eat sandwiches. He would like to know what will fill us up if we don’t eat bread?*…And lucky if you don’t have have a partner who eats clean as well.)  It doesn’t stop there, I feel like like I am bringing bad karma onto myself for eating certain foods! (namely animal products)

I can compare this overwhelming guilty conscious to religious people. In fact, I believe I am so sensitive to not “doing what’s right” because of my past in churchianity. So if you feel bad because you missed church, or forgot to say your prayers, or whispered a curse word, maybe you feel a fraction of what I feel when I eat food (that you may even consider healthy). I feel like I have to go to confession after eating black bean soup! AND IT’S VEGAN! Why? I read that beans cause inflammation. I start planning a cleanse after eating quinoa. Yeah… quinoa. We all thinks it’s so healthy… but is it? I listen so carefully to my body after eating a food because I have to know how it effects me. I have slight depression when I see a carton of milk. I mean, those poor cows. And the meat isle?!? It’s a graveyard, It’s the dead animal isle. I don’t like it. I feel like I am literally driving the nails into Jesus’s hands when I eat cheese that isn’t organic. And I have nausea even if it is organic because I’m a little grossed out by the concept of cheese. And simultaneously, cheese is my weakness, it’s the equivalent of the shame you may feel watching porn.

OK so you see my insanity. But here’s the deal, I don’t eat perfectly. So far I am healthy, even though I cheat sometimes. I can and do go to restaurants. I will find food that I can/will/want to eat. (Except fast food, but if we are going with the religious comparison, fast food is like a whore house, right?) I generally bring my own food to a BBQ, this isn’t that weird because I don’t eat meat, and it doesn’t bother me. I would like to say that my food standards are reasonable. I felt bad a few weeks ago when a friend asks me to feed her kid lunch and I knew already that he wouldn’t eat what we had. When I asked what he liked to eat, she suggested something like, mach n cheese, buttered noodles, pb&j, chicken nuggets, cereal and oatmeal. I had none of that. Or I and pieces… no butter, no bread, organic funny looking noodles, no milk for cereal, no peanut butter…. I apologized (don’t worry he was fed!), I honestly felt bad, but in reality, it’s not that big of a deal. These things happen, and I don’t think those are necessary foods. I don’t think that makes me extreme, either. I think that maybe my intense feelings on dairy seem extreme, but not buying chicken nuggets, not so much.

You may be wondering what this means for my kiddos? What do they eat? Well, if we go to a birthday party or a bbq, they eat pizza, hot dogs, cake and chips. The only thing I really put my foot down on at a social even is soda. At home my kiddos eat a balanced healthy diet, and I try to buy organic. They get dessert 2-3 times a week. My kids don’t eat as strict of a diet as I do, and that’s ok. I have had to loosen the reigns on that one, I wasn’t always so nonchalant about that.

Am I orthorexic? No, I don’t think so. I think that eating this way has helped improve my health and is better for my family. Do I think it’s a fine line? Yes. Considering my history it’s not weird that I have unhealthy emotions about food, however, it’s pretty awesome that I have not taken my obsession with health to an unhealthy extreme. I will be mindful, and I will continue fighting my food related demons.

The Passion and Pain Will Keep Me Alive

Dancing with her lovey

I am a mother, I am also a step mother. I am incredibly passionate, which is both a blessing and a curse. My opinions and feelings on things are very big! I react instantly and and explosively. So imagine being a work at home mom. I do not “go to work” and a lot of people seem to think this means that I have free time, I don’t. I have almost no free time. My life quite literally revolves around the kids, from the moment I wake up in the morning to the time I go to sleep at night. So that does not leave much room for me to be passionate about things, while, my passion may hinder me on occasion, I wouldn’t give it up. When I stop giving 100%, and learning and changing, it means I don’t care, my light will be snuffed, and that is when depression sets in.

“I can understand how the edges are rough And they cut you like the tiny slithers of glass And you feel too much And you don’t know how long you’re gonna last” -Pink

 

Depression is a scary place to be. If you have never been depressed, it’s the darkest, coldest, loneliest place you can imagine, and it follows you everywhere. It’s impossible to describe to anyone, and and it’s unfair to everyone around you, everyone who wants to help but can’t. You’re numb, nothing touches you, food doesn’t taste the same, your friends and family don’t mean what they once did. You’d rather be alone, even though you hate being lonely. It’s a scary place where you’re confronted by your demons, and you don’t have the energy to fight. I have struggled with depression since I was in middle school. I was medicated and had a therapist from the time I was 11 until I was 19, and at that point I was no longer insured, so I took what I had learned in the 8 years of therapy, the 3 months of rehab and the weeks of outpatient, and I was ok sometimes, other times, I wasn’t. I got myself into horrible situations, terrible relationships, and at times I felt it would be easier to die than deal with my problems.

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My pregnancy was one of the darkest times in my life. I did not want to be pregnant, I was terrified, lonely and angry. And nobody wanted to hear me. Nobody wanted to know the truth, the truth that I was forced to live with. The hormones took me over and held me down, I was sick EVERY SINGLE DAY. I hoped I wouldn’t wake up as I fell asleep every night. Who do you talk to when everyone is so happy, and can’t possibly understand how far you’ve gone into the deep sea of depression. Especially when my daughter’s father’s family did not “believe” in depression and therapy. They did not acknowledge my misery, or anything else that wasn’t picture perfect. I could go on and on about my horrible pregnancy and depression, but that’s actually not the point. My point is, every time I started getting pulled under the surface, I had nothing to feel passionate about. I had nothing to fight for.

“I won’t let you make the great escape, I’m never gonna watch you checkin out of this place I’m not gonna lose you Cause the passion and pain Are gonna keep you alive someday.” -Pink

Passion. Passion is not only something to fight for, but, more importantly, it’s something to LIVE for. I am not ashamed of my passion, and I understand that not everyone will see it, not everyone will understand why the heck after my daughter was born, and she gave me life, I became obsessed with cloth diapering. I researched it, and it gave me something to do, something to right my little corner of the world. I breast fed my daughter until she was almost 2! That was another thing I fought for because I had not only friends who did not understand, and were negative, but family that that blatantly disagreed with my decision. Honestly, having people disagree only reinforced me, it pushed me to find studies proving why breast is best. No one ever thought I would potty train my daughter when she was only 14 months old, but, guess what, it was another thing to look forward to, to work for, another thing to be excited about! Over the past 4 years, many things have made it to my passion list, not all of them have stuck. One thing did stick, and is ever evolving. My passion for health.

Health was right up my ally, after nursing and all of the research I did, it was only a matter of time before I caught the bug. I am so glad I did! I have never been healthier, and I believe in this. I believe so much, that yes, it’s worth it to fight for. You’d think food would not be a fight (see my blog “(Fast) Food Fight”), apparently it is. It never was an issue until I became a step mom and started introducing real food to my family. I have not yet been here for a year, so this is all very new to my fiance and my step children. It’s a foreign concept to my future in-laws. It’s really hard for people to respect these choices when they can’t understand them. And harder still when they don’t want to.

To set the record straight, while health is my passion, the decision to eat real food was not mine alone. When I first moved in I shopped for my food at my store, and he shopped for their food at his store. He made the decision to try what me and Jo ate, he started reading labels, he jumped on board with me. For some reason there seems to be a misunderstanding there. James has a mind of his own, and he also has an open mind. Those are two things that I love about him. He is totally willing to try to understand why things are important to me, in doing so, he decided to stop eating fast food on his lunch breaks, and totally stand beside me when we made our house fast food free.

I mentioned that passion can hinder me… it does, in this case especially because people seem to think I’m judging, when I’m not. Yes I have convictions, yes my feelings are strong, and yes, I will fight for them. I do expect to be respected, particularly if you are someone who would like to be involved in our lives. We need support from the people who are close to us. Raising children that have been through trauma makes it that much more important for us all to be united, and for stability in their lives. I have only been here since March (2012), and I am doing the best I can. These kids are my life, I have nothing besides my family, most of my friends are busy with their lives, and have moved on, just as I have. You don’t have to understand, but I think it would be easier if you were on the same page.

I tend to push people away when my passion gets the best of me. It’s never my intention, but things get miscommunicated, and misunderstood, like I said some think I’m judging, others are jealous that I am blessed to have the opportunity to stay at home, and the ability to fully live what I believe is right. Others are afraid I will force my lifestyle on them. That’s not my pan. While I believe this way of eating can save your life, but it’s up to you to make this decision, just like I did not force JAmes to eat my way. He chose this. Now we do have kids, and we decided to do what we believe is right for them, and its been slow going, and I do not do it perfectly, but that is the beauty of this type of change, we can take baby steps. As parents, their nutrition is our responsibility. We are doing our best.

As I type this I can’t stop thinking about how this resembles a religious fight. I remember being  young and in church (a cult), and how hard my parents worked to do what they felt was right when it came to “The God Thing”. People thought I was so weird, and my church as so creepy. I hated that I was never allowed to go places with my friends, and I was the only one of my friends that was not allowed to date. My parents stuck to what they believed, and it did save me from a lot of dangerous  situations. I did not like it at the time, and I do have a lot of bitterness with the church, and all religion, for that matter, but I do appreciate the integrity that was instilled in me. I have always been a terrible liar, annoying at times, but considering I am the kind of person that can’t live a lie because lies fester in my soul and ruin me… It’s forced me to be honest, and stick up for myself. I don’t tell my kids that if they eat cinnamon toast crunch they will die, I just say, we don’t eat things like that because it’s not good for you. So I ope my kids won’t grow up and rebel, and hate me for never buying marshmellows, although I’m sure in a few years, they will eat what they want. My plan is to keep healthy foods at home, and for now, to keep feeding them real food, until they are older, and going out with friends, having sleep overs, and thinking fast food is a food group. Ideally, they will grow up, and still have a taste for salad, and I will know I did my part.

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****I have written many blogs that explain why nutrition is so important to me and my family. I have a facebook page where I post the things we eat, recipes, ask advice, share my blogs… my blog is open to anyone who wants to take the time to understand, before they judge. My facebook page is also open to anyone. I know some of you avid readers only do so in order to gossip, I knew that when I started this website. I want to be clear here, everything I say here I would not hesitate to say to anyone, particularly the people I write about. I do not hide my feelings, and I’m not passive aggressive. I encourage you to not take what I say out of context. for those of you with questions that you don’t feel comfortable asking, you can click on “Health and Fitness, and you will find all of my blogs that explain how we eat, and why.****

 

 

 

Sleep!!!

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Sleep… I love sleeping, I am one of those people who would gladly sleep all day, will leisurely roll out of bed at noon (given the option), I will press snooze 12 times, and be a complete bitch if I am woken up before I am ready, rudely, by the doorbell, by the neighbors screaming children, by my screaming children, or if we are not going to Disneyland. I have always been like this. On my 16th birthday, my dad came in to wake me up and I threw a shoe at him. (Don’t throw shoes at your dad, you’ll be in big trouble, and it does’t matter if it’s your birthday.) Something about mornings just rubs me the wrong way. I can’t eat in the morning. I can’t even drink coffee before 9 or 10 am. I have read so many times that it’s best to drink 12 ounces of water first thing in the morning to cleanse your body and start fresh, yeah…. I would throw up. I’m not kidding, any water in the morning is slowly sipped on. Otherwise I wait until after my stomach has agreed that it is, in fact time to ingest something. I will also suddenly get a fever and throw up if I do not get enough sleep. I do not like speaking to anyone about anything in the morning. I especially do not like to be asked questions. My mornings last forever. I take my time waking up, I read my Facebook news feed like it’s the morning paper, I return text messages, and then get up, brush my teeth and head for the coffee maker. I then sit quietly and read articles about health, human rights, or my favorite blogs, and answer emails…. Then I am available. I’m caffeineated, I have had my space, I can deal with human contact now.

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That was all before Isagenix, anways. Isagenix changed me! My first cleanse blew me away, but more importantly, it blew my fiance away! Poor James has to walk on egg shells in the morning so as not to piss off the Big Bad Wolf that lives in me before 10 am. Not anymore. For no reason at all, a few days into my first cleanse I started waking up around 8 am. I was wide awake, my mind was clear, I still was not hungry, and I still had to wait to drink my shake, BUT I DID NOT NEED COFFEE! I’m not kidding, and it’s crazy because if you know my family, you know that coffee runs through our veins! Growing up, my dad who is 27 years sober, went to AA meetings (where they serve coffee), led groups (where they serve coffee), worked in rehabs (where they LIVE on coffee), led Bible Talks (where they serve coffee), and eventually began roasting his own coffee beans as a hobby, he started buying raw coffee beans from Costa Rica and Panama and roasting them, so we had the best, freshest, most delicious coffee possible. My family HATES Starbucks, in fact, I’m probably not even allowed to say that word! It’s like calling on The Coffee Devil, or something in my family. My dad even has a running tab at his local coffee shop! Who has a coffee tab? IF I wanted to, I can even go to Element Coffee (in Camarillo) and order a drink, and put it on my dad’s tab. My mom does not believe in decaf, and my sister drinks coffee all day long. My parents might not even own a regular coffee maker, they do have an esspresso machine, and they make coffee by the individual cup by heating water, and pouring it over this little cup thing that sits on top of your mug. It took me a while to figure that one out. Also, they never pre-grind coffee beans. They always grind as needed.

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So you get the idea, coffee was my life source, and one day… it wasn’t. I still love coffee, don’t get me wrong. I drink it on weekends now, since weekends can be “cheat days”. I have started looking at coffee as a treat instead of a necessity. The IsaLean shakes give me all of the energy I need, and have given me better sleep at night. Having better sleep means needing less sleep, which means I am up earlier, functioning faster, and I have a better attitude!

 

Why is sleep so important? For one, you are recharging, you are resting your mind, giving it a break from all of your stresses, you are giving your subconscious a chance to take a deeper look at your problems. Your pores open when you sleep, which is why you should always wash your face before bed! Not sleeping enough stresses your body out and can cause weight gain! For those of you who have done the Belly Blaster (ask me about it!!!) with me, I have explained that part of the reason it works so well is because the protein and calcium puts your body into a deep sleep, and you lose inches over night! Better sleep means a better mood, mental clarity, and more energy.

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I was talking to a couple moms about sleep training this week. Sleep training your infant can be tough, but sleep training your toddler is HELL! Trust me, I know, I tried teaching my daughter how to sleep in her own bed when she was a baby, and that was such a failure! She co-slept until she was 2 years old. Honestly I did not mind much, I kept her on my schedule, and I breastfed until then, so she always needed me close, anyways. But I can see the benefits of having your child sleep in his/her own bed. For one, it destroys your sex life. I did not notice because I had lost interest in sex the moment I got pregnant in the first place. So a few years of co-sleeping did not bother me, in fact, I liked it. Nap time was a pain. She never had a scheduled nap time so she would just pass out while nursing and I would gently try to escape, but most of the time I was stuck. I watched Desperate Housewives, Prison Break, and House straight through on DVD during the first year!

When I finally did sleep train, she was old enough to understand, and defiant enough to pee every time I put her in her room. No we are not talking about a puppy… my daughter used to literally take off her panties, and pee at me. That’s what I get for potty training her when she was 14 months old. She knew how to hold it, and would pee to get out of naps. She would also occasionally throw up at me. Once, she was so tired she sat on her potty in the hallway and fell asleep peeing, and fell off, and I found her passed out, completely naked in the hallway. Eventually she did get the idea, and one of the best things was that she had “lovey’s” I think I got the idea from “The No Cry Sleep Solution”. (I mentioned it in my blog “Bonding”, if you want more details.) Now, she recommends A LOVEY, my daughter has like 25 lovey’s. She is extremely attached to her stuffed animals, and “squishies”. (Squishies are weird rubbery squishy toys that Jo is obsessed with.) It works for bedtime though, if she has her “friends” she is content. We have some nights where she does not want to sleep, but if you threaten to take her friends, she’s over it. She does not even need a night light, she is not afraid of the dark because she has her friends.

Dancing with her lovey
Jo (4) and her lovey

I do suggest sleep training sooner than I did. Everyone needs sleep, and it’s fair and respectful to your kids for them to have a safe comforting sleeping space and time. Kids need structure, they feel safe when they know the schedule. And I think, as parents, we owe it to our children to give them enough sleep, and to give ourselves some down time. Having time in the evening with James is very important to me. If James were not around I would appreciate the quiet by reading a book, scrapbooking, chatting with a friend on the phone or zoning out on TV. ME time is sacred. It should be to you, as well.

My friend’s mom reminded me of this a recently. The best way to get on a healthy sleep schedule is to get up at the same time every day. Even on weekends. I will be honest, I do not do this, I still stay in bed late on weekends, usually because James and I stay up late on weekends, but it is good advice, especially if you don’t like mornings. Once your internal clock figures out your schedule, mornings will be easier. Until then, try Isagenix!

If you have questions about trying Isagenix I would love to help! It’s risk free with a 30 Day Money Back Guarantee!!

Don’t forget to find me on Facebook www.facebook.com/isahealthymama , follow me on Twitter @ISAhealthymama, register to my blog, and don’t be shy about commenting, or emailing me! isahealthymama@yahoo.com

“Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food”

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“Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food.” -Hippocrates

If you are a friend of mine on Facebook, or a fan on my fan page ( https://www.facebook.com/isahealthymama ) you know I am obsessed with Isagenix! Yes, I am obsessed with eating organic, tips and tricks to improve your immune system and metabolism, and proper nutrition for children, and being a work at home mom… but what you may not know is that Isagenix has all of that in one place! I like to give advice on going to the grocery store and finding real food for your family, because I know a lot of people are hesitant to try new things, especially when they are looking at prices. Let’s face it, most people go to the grocery store to find the best deals and don’t think twice about what they will be eating. Most people see that the Sunny D has 100% Vitamin C and don’t bother to read the actual ingredients. Ingredients that completely cancel out the “100% Vitamin C” that the label claimed. People love coupons, and get excited to save $20, $30, $50 on their grocery receipt. You may be saving money now, but in the long run, when your blood pressure is through the roof, when you have stomach problems that you spend extra money on antacids to cure, acne that you spend hundreds of dollars to cure, when you can’t lose weight and spend even more on drugs to lower your apatite, potentially develop an addiction that you now have to kick, when you have weight loss surgery, when your children are obese, when you have a heart attack… was that extra $50 worth it? Now that you are in debt from medical bills that could have been avoided if you had been simply eating right. How much are you will to spend on your health?

“Food is the most widely abused anti-anxiety drug in America, and exercise is the most potent and underutilized antidepressant.” -Bill Phillips

We live in an age where it is so simple to get a prescription! For every problem you have, you can ask your doctor to fix it. My question is, is the problem gone? Or masked? You will forever be taking medications instead of solving the problem! Let’s address the problems before they start, and the best way to do that is proper nutrition! I’m not talking about avoiding getting a cold or the flu… everyone gets those, I’m talking about avoiding cancer, liver problems, thyroid problems, autoimmune disorders! Nutrition is the answer!

“If people let the government decide what foods they eat and what medicines they take, their bodies will soon be in as a sorry state as the souls who live under tyranny.”  -Thomas Jefferson

Going to the grocery store may be simple to you, if it is, you’re probably doing something wrong. Going to a big chain like Vons or Ralphs gives me anxiety! Reading labels and Googling words I can’t pronounce is exhausting! I have been so frustrated that I avoid grocery stores as much as I can. Trader Joe’s, Lassens, and Fresh and Easy are easier for me, yes I still have to read labels, at least more of what I’m reading can go into my cart! Corporations have taken over most of our mass produced foods so we are not getting the nutrients our bodies need to function properly. We are given the option of fillers, chemicals and GMO’s. Do you want to be eating food that was was grown in soil that was sprayed with insecticides that made the bug’s stomachs explode? That does not sound healthy to me.

“It is easier to stay well than get well.”

This is why I chose Isagenix after months of looking into all of the shakes out there and being disappointed and frustrated. Isagenix is organic, actually, higher quality than organic. If you are looking for a home-based business and a great nutrition plan you will be hard pressed to find one that is organic. Isagenix also uses whey from grass fed cows who roam pastures in New Zealand. They have not been given antibiotics or hormones. (Animals being treated ethically is very important to me!) The whey is undenatured which means it goes through a low heat process which saves the nutrients. The whey is also 99% lactose extracted, since I am lactose intolerant I needed either a dairy free shake or no lactose. (Isagenix also has a vegan shake!) The whey in Isagenix (IsaLean) shakes helps you build lean healthy muscle, the more muscle you have, the more fat you burn! IsaLean shakes are filled with 90 essential nutrients that our bodies need to work properly and have active enzymes which aid in digestion. They are gluten free and soy free!

My first cleanse changed me! I was waking up earlier, with energy, staying up later, my workouts were better, a rash I had for a few months vanished, my acne cleared up, my hair and nails grew faster, I dropped a pant size and I didn’t need coffee anymore! All in 11 days! I fell in love with my shakes! I joked with my husband that I was having a love affair with my shakes… and it’s not much of a joke. Giving your body the right nutrients gives you a high! The specific nutrients in IsaLean makes your brain release a chemical called Oxytocin which is the “falling in love chemical” and Seratonin which is the chemical that makes you feel high. Imagine that, a safe, natural high that does not cloud your thinking, but actually helps your mental clarity, and there is no unfavorable come down! Too good to be true? It’s not! I live this every day! My kids even drink these shakes!

I have not even talked about Cleanse For Life! CFL is a juice that you can either drink every morning and night, or drink on deep cleanse days. It is full of nutrients, and pulls toxins from your blood and organs. A deep cleanse day is a day where you do not eat food, you only drink CFL, suck on Isagenix Snacks and drink tons of water and tea. Cleanses can be difficult, but there is so much support, and it’s so encouraging to do group cleanses, and after you have done one day, you wake up feeling fantastic, you have so much energy! You flush all of those icky toxins that hold onto fat, and clean out all your organs! Deep cleanse days are an option for people who want faster results. Isagenix has so many options, I can help you find a program that fits YOU.

My sister lost 10 pounds and 16 inches (collectively) in only 14 days on Isagenix!
My sister lost 10 pounds and 16 inches (collectively) in only 14 days on Isagenix!
My sister lost 10 pounds and 16 inches (collectively) in 14 days using Isagenix!
My sister lost 10 pounds and 16 inches (collectively) in 14 days using Isagenix!
My sister has continued using Isagenix and has gone from 178 pounds to 143 pounds!
My sister has continued using Isagenix and has gone from 178 pounds to 143 pounds!

I have friends who have lost between 7 pounds (in 5 days) and 30 pounds (in 30 days)! I know people who have lost their baby weight, I have seen people lose over 100 pounds! This is a program for anyone! If you do not have weight to lose, you won’t lose weight, if you do, you will!

When I talk to people about the cleanse, one of the most common things I hear is, “I don’t need to lose weight.” So I thought I would clarify here: The nutritional cleanse is not about weight loss, weight loss is a side effect, and not everyone will lose weight. When I did my first cleanse people kept saying, “but you’re so skinny.” Ok, great point! I don’t cleanse to lose weight, I do not have weight to lose, in fact, I gained muscle when I did my 30 day. I gained 6 pounds! I dropped a pant size, because my body changed, but I did not lose weight. The point of this cleanse is to clean out your body, think of it like changing your oil. We all need an oil change every once in a while. We all have toxins! Everywhere we go our skin absorbs toxins, we inhale toxins, we ingest toxins. We can’t get away from toxins, we can however, take care of ourselves so these disease causing toxins don’t ruin our lives. It’s so superficial to only focus on what you look like on the outside, and I admit, the way I get your attention is by appealing to your superficial nature, let’s face it, seeing results make a huge impact. I can’t show you what my arteries look like, I can tell you how different I feel, how I sleep better, wake up easier, with energy, how I cut out coffee because I don’t need it anymore. I can tell you how nice it is to no longer struggle with acne, and to be able to push myself like never before in my workouts. I can show you my long strong fingernails, and how long my hair has grown, how thick and healthy it is. I can tell you how happy I am. My body finally has the tools to deal with stress properly and I live in a perpetual state of contentment. I hope this clears things up! Watch this video!!! It’s only 2 minutes =)

http://www.isamovie.com/AreYouToxic.html

This is a video that explains the how a cellular, or blood cleanse works, and the effects it has on your cells! THIS IS NOT A COLON CLEANSE!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=ghAls_KdMnQ

Besides all of the amazing health benefits, Isagenix is an incredible business! This company is so generous! When you order product and get the membership (only $29/year!) you can make back the money you spent simply by referring your friends. I know what your thinking, “A pyramid scheme” well, let’s look at any company you have worked for, you have a cashiers,  sales people, managers, a district manager, a vice president, an president and a CEO, that CEO gets to rake in the cash while everyone under him/her does all of the work. Sound familiar? The only difference is this gives you the opportunity to be your own boss. There are over 50 millionaires in Isagenix! Maybe more now! But you don’t have to do the business if you order the product. You might simply want to share the product so your shakes are paid for every month! It doesn’t hurt to try it for yourself. Isagenix has a 30 day money back guarantee! So if you are not happy with your results, you can simply return it. (But you’ll be happy with your results)

2 of my favorite Isagenix poducts!
2 of my favorite Isagenix poducts!

This blog has been a long time coming, and I did not want to be super sales-y, but I am so excited about Isagenix and I want to share this with you! Email me if you want more information!!! isahealthymama@yahoo.com and don’t forget to follow me on Twitter @ISAhealthymama and Instagram ISAHEALTHYMAMA and “like” my Facebook page https://www.facebook.com/isahealthymama AND if you haven’t yet, please register to my blog =)

You can also check out my Isagenix website and order for yourself! If you’d like a discount click “sign up and save”!!! www.healthy.mama.isagenix.com

 

 

(Fast) Food Fight!

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I waited until I calmed down a bit to begin writing. This morning my (soon to be) father in law brought my sick step son, Lj Mc Donald’s, a diet coke and chips! My jaw dropped when he walked in the door!!! I said, “He doesn’t eat that stuff anymore.” And Grandpa blew me off. (My fiance has already talked to his parents about fast food). Last week my (soon to be) grandma brought a bag of chips for Lj. They were promptly thrown out, and I let Grandma know that we avoid processed food, particularly with Lj because he has ADD and we are trying to clean up his diet as much as we can because he has responded so well to the changes we have already made.

Let me give you a little insight into this situation. When Lj started kindergarten he got notes home every day, these were not encouraging notes, they had sad faces and explained that Lj had thrown fits, hid under his desk, yelled at the teachers aid, refused to listen, refused to come in from recess, had meltdowns when he was not picked… the list goes on. We knew we had to make a change, and are hesitant to try medication. I had already been cleaning up the kids diet, so I decided quickly, OK time to talk to the grandparents and let them know that fast food has to stop, and NO MORE SODA. (They never had that with us, in fact, they drink water here.) Then I ordered the kids the same shakes that I drink every morning, they are organic with whey from grass fed cows who have not been treated with hormones or antibiotics, and it’s 99% lactose extracted. I love them, and the kids do,too. I had read that kids with ADD need higher protein, and Lj does not like meat (I’ll admit that I do love that fact) so I figured this was the best way to get quality protein in his system along with 90 other nutrients that our bodies need to function properly. It has been like night and day! He still comes home with notes, but they are filled with stars and happy faces! He is responding to directions now, he listens, he has said several times that his “brain let’s him listen now”. I am convinced that better nutrients has helped him have better mental clarity!

 

So you can imagine how PISSED I was seeing this crap in my house!!! Mc Donald’s is NOT food! It’s GMOs, fillers, hormones, antibiotics, preservatives and grease! And soda should not even be legal, it’s so bad for you! There is nothing in soda that a kid needs! (Or an adult!) Not to mention diet soda, so it has a chemical shit storm of ingredients!!! “Diet” anything is nasty, and confuses your body. Children are getting diabetes these days, and they wouldn’t be if they didn’t have access to this crap!!!

Grandpa completely blew me off and said, “My kids grew up eating this stuff and they are fine.” Everyone thinks they are just fine until they eat clean! All of a sudden they have more energy, mental clarity, they feel good, they get sick less, their workouts are better, they look better, their skin clears up! So many awesome things happen when you eat clean, and you would never know how good you could feel unless you actually experienced it! When I got my fiance on Product B (magical vitamins!!!) he had always felt fine, he was tired, but he works really hard, outside, and gets up early, we have a hectic schedule, it’s no wonder he was always tired. But it never stopped him. A few weeks into Product B he forgot to take it one morning and for some reason he felt like crap that day, tired, not motivated, wanted a nap all day. The next day he remembered it, and he had a great day, tons of energy! He said he couldn’t believe the difference when he doesn’t take it! James would never have known how good he could feel, how much more productive he could be if he hadn’t made dietary changes. His doctor even told him how healthy was, but he didn’t feel how drained and depleted he was.

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I know I can’t hammer this into everyone’s head. Some of you like your ignorance, it’s easier to go to a drive thru than go grocery shopping and make dinner. I get it, That used to be me (years ago). I’ll be honest, making these changes is not easy and it does not happen over night! Reading labels, is obnoxious and discouraging sometimes!!!! Going to the store when all I want to do is go home because it’s been a long day sucks sometimes! I am so lucky to be a stay at home mom and have the time to prepare and there is a lot of prep involved! Pureeing, cutting, prepackaging things for easy access, it’s never ending!!! And the dishes, oh my god!!! So just know, I’m not judging. I would hope you would think about making small changes, or even one big one (NO MORE FAST FOOD!), but if not, it’s ok, it’s your decision. Just like my families diet is mine! I hope the grandparents will start to respect me, and understand that this is all about keeping my kids healthy, so they can live long amazing lives! It’s not about creating more rules, and making it harder on anyone. Seriously, if only it were easier!!! I believe it is worth the effort. And in case you’re wondering, yes when the kids go to birthday parties we let them eat cake and pizza, I don’t want them to resent us over food!!!

My fiance is cutting up a Mc Donald's gift card that was given to our daughter
My fiance is cutting up a Mc Donald’s gift card that was given to our daughter

Is Subway Junk Food?

Did you know that tuna has omegas, and avacado is full of healthy fats? Fats do not turn into fat in your body, so you are giving yourself BRAIN FOOD!
Did you know that tuna has omegas, and avacado is full of healthy fats? Fats do not turn into fat in your body, so you are giving yourself BRAIN FOOD!

When you have been eating healthy for a long time it is a trip how gross you feel when you eat even a little bit naughty, brace yourselves, because to some of you, this won’t sound naughty in the least, to others… you’ll feel the way I do. Yesterday I was on my way to work with my cousin and my aunt, and they wanted lunch, they went to Subway, and I decided since I do not usually go there I could check it out, after all, they do have salads! And “Jared” lost all that weight, right! (I suspect he lost more weight because he wasn’t Supersizing anymore and walked to Subway.) I ordered a tuna salad. That was my second bad chioce, my first was going to Subway (at least I did not get a sandwhich, bread can be SUCH a temptation) I love tuna, but not the kind that has been drowned in mayo and is tasteless! I felt like I was eating mayo! I added cucumbers, tomatoes, olives, jalapenos, spinach and lettuce. Everything was so bland. The jalapenos her canned which is just gross, I can’t handle them unless they are fresh, the tomatoes were not even eatable, the cucumbers were dry… As I was eating I remembered why I stopped going to Subway in the first place. It’s not quality. It’s crap. I am used to delicious organic, often home grown fruits and veggies! This was such a huge disappointment!!! Part of me was annoyed that it’s so difficult to find decent quick food. That is obnoxious, right?? I mean, I can’t even go to Subway anymore!!! No wonder I am so good at having healthy easy food at home, it’s my only option.

Like I said, some of you will probably not understand why I am disgusted by Subway, I mean it is veggies, at least, right? Wrong. It’s genetically modified, and terrible quality. If I am going to eat, I prefer organic so I know my body is able to use the nutrients. It is a waste of time money and stomach space to eat crap veggies. Yes, it’s better than eating a cheese burger, and maybe I am overly picky, because, don’t get me wrong, I am proud of each and every one of you that chooses subway over Mc Donalds. I am proud because I know you are on the path to cleaner eating. Just be aware of what you are ingesting, the bread is made with high fructose corn syrup (High fructose corn syrup is made with corn, sure but that does not change that it is sugar, and it’s made from genetically modified corn… so it’s not even really corn. It’s basically a filler that is put into almost every processed food you eat. The same goes for soy. Not all soy, and not all corn. That’s where organic buying and eating comes in.)! So those 9 grains they claim are not doing anything good for you because the sugar (toxins) are not going to let your body absorb them. Besides that, bread (carbs) is converted into sugar in your body, and high fructose corn syrup IS sugar and sugar turns into fat. (That is the simplest way to explain it, but there are a lot of details and reasons our bodies do this, the same thing happens with an apple, but it is a different kind of carb, and you do need those healthy sugars because it gives you energy, of course, but not to the extreme that you get when you are eating bread. Forget what you learned on that Food Pyramid growing up!)

Sometimes when I think about these things I get a little discouraged, it is so hard to win, especially when you are just beginning to eat healthy. I’m sure it’s overwhelming when you read that some vegetables are not worth eating, and apples are carbs. Trust me, I know, and I want to encourage you all, when I began my journey to a healthier lifestyle I did not have a definite place I wanted to be. I knew I wanted to be healthier, and I did not know how to go about it. I learned slowly over the past few years, and often rejected things I read because I didn’t like it. For example, I quit eating fast food in 2010, so the only quick option I had was Subway. When I stopped eating fast food I did not go directly to a plant based diet. I just did not eat fast food anymore. When I read how bad processed turkey (at Subway, in particular) is, I continued eating it because I loved the turkey sub! It was not until I stopped eating meat (besides fish) that I embraced all the things I had read about meat, because it finally directly related to me. At this point, did I go organic? No! I still figured that fruits and veggies are good for you regardless… they grew on trees, they came from the earth, they MUST be good for you. I did not eat almost exclusively organic until I started cleansing and actually witnessed the difference in an organic cleanse. I did not want to contaminate my body anymore. I feel too good to mess it up. I messed up a little yesterday… but today is a new day! To be honest, I am still rejecting a lot of the sugar hype. I still feel like eating fruits is good, and I do not pay attention to how much fruit I eat, because it’s organic, I do know that I am probably getting too much, but I’m just not there yet. Who knows, maybe someday I will jump on the “sugar is the devil” bandwagon and write a blog for you all. For now, I think I’m gonna go eat a yummy organic delicious juicy peach.

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Taste testing and scheduling

Today I went to Vons, it’s rare for me, I almost always shop at Trader Joe’s. Today since I was babysitting I thought I would take the kids out for a walk, and I had a list of things I wanted to try, and hoped I could find at Vons. Turns out, Vons does not carry chia seeds, but they do have dates! Trader Joe’s did not have dates, but they do have chia seeds. I already have coconut oil and dried fruit (from Trader Joe’s, of course). So I won’t be making chia seed energy bars tonight, hopefully I will make it to the store tomorrow. I did find kale chips, carrot chips and apple chips. I bought a bag of each. I would suggest making your own because the quantity is just not worth the price. Kale chips tasted kind of like potato chips, the carrot chips were just gross, and I have not tried the apple chips yet. I also bought prunes. I am not a huge fan of prunes, but something you will learn about me, I don’t necessarily ingest foods because I like it, or enjoy it. I look at the benefits and if I don’t hate the taste, I’ll go ahead and eat it. I did not buy them for me though, my daughter was having trouble using the bathroom a few weeks ago, and I thought, maybe this will help to avoid that problem. I don’t know if it was my master manipulation skills, or if the kids actually enjoy prunes, but they loved them! I had to take them away out of concern for their little systems!

I also saw a bottle of acai berry juice. I have never tried it before and was in a taste testing mood. Acai berries are supposed to be high in antioxidants and omega fatty acids. This bottle claimed that one serving is equal to 4 servings of fruits and vegetables. Couldn’t hurt, right? I never bought into the rage of acai a few years back, but I know it is commonly used in weight loss products. I had an 8 ounce glass this afternoon as a pick me up, and it did it’s job, I am ready for my workout. To be fair any healthy snack probably would have done the trick. If I notice any changes this week I will be sure to write about it!

The last few weeks have been really tough. I have been so off. My workout schedule, my cleaning schedule, my eating schedule, and clearly my blogging schedule. I am trying to get back on track. I cannot even explain how crazy I feel inside when I am not successfully executing all of my parenting goals. Yes, the kids are fed, homework is done, we have had some play time, and they are bathed… but when I have not been able to do all of the laundry, and when the floors have not been mopped I feel like I must be slacking off. Even though I know I’m not I’m still just as exhausted at the end of the day as I was when I was doing all of the cleaning and working out 5 days a week. I may have to stop doing something, but I have no idea what I can give up. For now I am shifting responsibilities around and trying not to expect so much of myself. Today I mopped the floors, deep cleaned the bathroom and put away laundry. I made a huge pot of quinoa and added a cup of pureed spinach, and boiled a bunch of eggs. I also took the kids out for a walk, played outside and was babysitting a one year old all day. Today was a success, but it is far from over. I have to cram for my Personal Fitness Trainer exam!!!

The goal is happieness

I love that my tea gives me advice
I love that my tea gives me advice

A few months ago I was a stay at home mom who had an obsession with health food, and went running to curb my anxiety. Today I don’t have a title, but I do have so many jobs! I was thinking yesterday, I did not put all of my eggs in one basket, but I might have too many baskets. It is time to prioritize, and maybe accept that the next few months will be crazy as I follow each of the avenues I have opened. I recently decided to get my certification in Personal Fitness Training with my friend and soon to be Sister In Law. We have been very seriously discussing starting a workout group at the park by our house. We both know so many people who are uncomfortable in gyms, or just simply do not know where to begin with getting fit and healthy. We want to create an environment for women to be comfortable (not during the class… sorry!) and encouraged. We all deserve to be empowered, and beginning with health and fitness, the rest will follow. Personally my passion is healthy food, not so much because I love food, I actually don’t, but because food is where everything really comes together. You can go to the gym for an hour or two a day, but if you binge when you get home, if you are eating processed “food”, if you are not listening to your body, you will not get the results you want. However, if you change your diet, cut out processed foods, be mindful of carbs, avoid sugar, and eat *ORGANIC*  veggies and fruits you WILL see results, you will FEEL results! Pair the two, a plant based diet and exercising, it will make the biggest difference. That said, I am very interested in exercising, and I can’t wait to find out more. Knowledge is POWER! I cannot wait to learn, and more importantly, I cannot wait to teach!

I had a chat with my dad tonight, I was filling him in on my plans to get certified, and unloading (I can’t help but to vent constantly!) all of my insecurities. I know that I am capable, but I am so scared of this class! I have never been a school person and have avoided it. Certifications, however, I am no stranger to. I was a lifeguard for a few years and that required more certifications than I am getting now. I am also older and I have a WHY. Having a “why” when you make a goal is paramount! If you don’t know why you are working your butt off, losing sleep, worrying, studying, learning, and or changing, then what is the point? How do you put your heart into something that has no real reason? When my dad asked me my “why” I said, “Well, money, I guess. I need to make money.”

My dad said, “That is not why you started all of this. Remember when you first started blogging? Why did you start?”

I said, “To be happy.”

I had already lost sight of my WHY! When I started blogging I was having emotional outbursts, struggling to control my temper, my anxiety was through he roof. I was not happy. I was in love, and I loved my kids, but I was not happy. I felt so guilty for not being content with my life, the funny part was that all I needed was an outlet. When I began blogging, not only was I able to unleash my insecurities, fight demons and write as much as I want about my favorite subject: Health! I also, now have validation, you all send me messages, some of you have encouraged me more than you know, the comments are awesome, and I have built friendships with people I never would have otherwise interacted with. I also have gotten to know people that I was Facebook friends with, but we had never really had a relationship. All of these things especially all of you make such a huge difference to me. I really wanted to share with you all today, that I have reconnected with my WHY, and I plan to make the necessary adjustments to flourish!