My fiance constantly blows my mind. A day does not go by that I am not in awe of how involved and supportive he is. Coming from a place where I was convinced that all men were useless and oblivious. (That sounds harsh, I know, but I was bitter, and in an incredibly negative place.) I can’t believe my eyes when he gets home from work and takes the kids to the park, or gets down on the floor and wrestles with them. He put away all of the laundry on Monday, is currently washing the kids dinner dishes and making home made potato chips. He remembers when we are running low on something, and half of the time I do not have remind him to pick up the almond milk we ran out of that morning. The other day he came home with roses for no reason. He just loves me. He is my best friend, and never have I had a more supportive and understanding one. (Although, I do have some pretty amazing friends!)
I would not be able to do this without him. I was losing my mind before he came along. My life revolved around a 3 year old (still does, and we added 2 more!) and I had no life beyond my relatively monotonous day to day with my daughter, Jo. Our lives have been flipped upside down, and are now almost the exact opposite of what they were. My life is filled with play dates, walks, dirty dishes, whining children, and a whole lot of LOVE. There are days that I want nothing more than to run out the door– actually that is exactly what I do! I need to run. Besides fitness, I keep the anxiety at bay that builds from always being positive and loving, even when I am feeling out of control and angry. As soon as he walks in the door, he is doing something productive. He never sits down or rests when there are things to do, he is immediately involved and engaged. He listens. Listening is a huge thing to me. I have not felt heard for most of my life, and he validates me, which means the world to me.
That being said, today I experienced something new to me. This week my fiance’s sister-in-law, who lives next door, and I committed to starting P90X together. Today was our first official day, (see! you can make a goal any day of the week, you don’t need and new year, a new month, or a Monday!) and I am gonna be honest with you, it was HARD!!! I was shaking and lightheaded afterward, and I was so happy to have someone else right there next to me who knew EXACTLY how I was (am currently!) feeling. We are going to hold each other accountable, just like my Facebook page, and this blog hold me accountable. Now I have added to my support system. I have a teammate! I have never worked out with anyone else. I have always been the only one I make my commitment to, and this is an added challenge.
It is important to me to have a support system, especially being on such a tough road. Being a parent, a step parent, working from home, making the change to be healthy, and leading my family on my journey, it’s not easy, but having people in my life that are on my side makes a huge difference.